Saturday, December 20, 2008

"Leaving the street for the love of a child"
by Katherine Mortimer - Vernon Morning Star December 19.08

Editor’s note: names have been changed to protect their identities.
photo illustration by Cory Bialecki/Morning Star

As Jasmine breastfeeds her three-month-old son, the infant gazes up at his mother, wrapping his tiny hand around her finger.
The picture of domestic bliss is one the young mother could not have imagined two years ago. Jasmine was a drug addict who spent years living on the streets, and doing what she could to earn enough money for her next hit.
But a couple of months after getting clean, she discovered she was pregnant. She has also discovered happiness, and the simple pleasure of being home with her family.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I completely changed my whole life around,” said Jasmine. “I have embraced motherhood with strength and joy.”
Now living in a cozy suite with her partner, John, the 18-year-old said she’s proud of the way in which she has turned her life around.
“I was in such a bad place for so long, but everyone who helped me deserves some recognition,” she said.
While Jasmine herself did the hard work of getting off drugs, she said there were people along the way who helped and supported her on her journey, including the staff at the Upper Room Mission.
“The Mission was always there, and they used to let me sleep in their parking lot, they had food to eat, and they were so kind.”
Growing up in the Okanagan, Jasmine began using hard drugs such as crystal meth, heroin and cocaine when she was still a youngster, and before long was so addicted that she ended up living on the streets, both in Vernon and, for a time, in Vancouver.
“I met lots of people, and I had to do things to get money,” she said. “I never thought I would ever change.”
Jasmine is quick to point out that the route she took towards drug addiction has nothing to do with her family, calling her mother wonderful and loving. But a chance meeting with other people who were using drugs led her to a world away from the life she knew.
She managed to get to Grade 11, but is now completing her secondary education at home, through Open Door.
“I didn’t see my family for a long time, and it’s only recently that I’ve seen them. Had I cleaned up, I wouldn’t have been afraid to go home, but they didn’t want any drug addicts around.”
Jasmine said her addictive personality and her love of drugs meant that seeking help for her addiction wasn’t an option.
“It felt so good and so right, I was young and that was my life. All that mattered was getting my next hit, you don’t care about anything else.
“Normally, people live their day-to-day lives and are not consumed by just one thing. When you’re on drugs, that’s all you do. It’s people wasting away.”
Living on the streets is not for the faint of heart. Jasmine battled bronchitis every winter, and contracted pneumonia.
“And Vernon is not a really happening town, so there are some nights when I’d be so sad and lonely. In Vancouver, there was more going on.
“You have blackouts and I was up a lot, walking the streets. It’s cold, it’s frustrating, and it’s a lifestyle that’s next to impossible to get out of.”
But a few years ago, Jasmine discovered the services available to the homeless at the Upper Room Mission. But it wasn’t just food that was given by the Mission, it was the people who served up the meals.
“They made all the difference, and it takes a special person to work there.”
Others who made a difference are the staff and volunteers at the Vernon and District Women’s Centre, which has shower and laundry facilities.
“The street nurse was also fantastic, and they would give you clean needles and condoms, but they don’t judge you — you’re doing what you’re doing, and you don’t need anyone saying anything.”
Jasmine eventually ended up in hospital with severe infections on her arms, the result of IV drug use. At Vernon Jubilee Hospital, she had what she calls life-saving surgery. But although she was in a hospital bed for a week, she still managed to have drugs supplied to her.
“When I got out of hospital, I was very skinny and very helpless and I didn’t even recognize myself, my wounds were still expressing pus and blood.”
It wasn’t until she met John, her partner and father of her son, that she began to turn her life around. While also homeless, John was not an addict. They met while bunking down in the stairwell at Polson Plaza, sharing mattress cushions and trying to stay warm. For a time, they lived in a van, sharing one can of tuna over the course of a week.
“He is such a loving person, and because he wasn’t on drugs, we helped each other. I told him I would try to clean up and he gave me a glimpse of what my life could be like because I was wasting myself. I knew I had more to offer.”
Jasmine said she has difficulty explaining the reasons she decided to stop taking drugs but knows that, while meeting John may have been the catalyst, she said it had to be her decision.
“I would not have stopped for anyone or anything, I pretty much did it on my own. I slipped up a few times, but John stayed with me and we got a place.
“But even when I got clean, I had a hard time changing my life around. Everyone always looks down at you and would never give you the time of day.
“You depend on people’s charity in order to survive because you won’t buy food yourself — any money you do get goes towards your next fix.”
After she’d been clean for a couple of months, Jasmine went to the doctor for routine testing for HIV, hepatitis and other diseases. Although disease-free, she discovered that she was two months pregnant.
Still living in the crack shack and just scraping by on welfare, Jasmine said it was a scary situation. She and John found a new home, and she said she didn’t leave the house for the first five or six months of her pregnancy, for fear she’d have a relapse.
“I still had cravings during my pregnancy, but I never touched anything — no one wanted this more than I did, I just wanted to have this baby — and the second I had him, all my cravings vanished.”
Jasmine said while many people turn to a higher power for support, she said she relies on her own strength to get through the tough times.
“I don’t believe there is one god, God is within ourselves.”
During her pregnancy, Jasmine relied on the support and encouragement she received through the First Nations Friendship Centre’s Pre-Natal Nutrition Program.
On July 4, 2008, Jasmine gave birth to a 6 lb. 15 oz. baby boy.
“It was meant to be. Babies are so innocent, so perfect and beautiful. I never understand when I hear parents complain that their baby is crying or won’t sleep, how do you think negatively of such a miraculous gift?”
Born four weeks early, the infant had difficulty breathing and at 4:30 a.m. was rushed to B.C. Children’s Hospital in Vancouver.
“It was so overwhelming, and all I wanted was to hear my baby cry.”
After a week in hospital, the baby recovered. He is now healthy, and sleeping eight hours a night. Jasmine now enjoys attending the get-togethers at the centre, where she socializes with other moms and their babies, moms who just know her as another mother, not a drug addict, not someone living on the streets.
Now selling Avon to help make ends meet, Jasmine said she and John would eventually like to buy their own place. With John working for a contracting company, the couple is doing everything they can to get ahead, with the hope of eventually buying their own home.
“We’d like to move to Victoria to make a fresh start. My whole life has been flipped upside down. Now I go to the Mission to visit and to say hi to everyone.”
Jasmine said she doesn’t socialize with people her own age, finding it hard to relate to what the average teenager is going through.”
“With John and my baby, that’s all I need. I want to work at moving up in society, get better jobs, and an education, just being people living our lives, enjoying life for what it is and feeling lucky to be alive. Things can only go up from here.”
The message Jasmine wants to send is that no matter what challenges, no matter the adversity, and no matter the obstacles, people can change their lives around.
“But you have to do it for yourself, not for God, or for your family, nobody’s spirit is meant to be tortured, everyone has the power to do things for themselves.”
The Upper Room Mission
The Upper Room Mission is a non-profit faith based organization that exists to serve the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of the needy and less fortunate in Vernon. It provides three meals a day, seven days a week for the homeless and working poor.
It also offers a variety of other services including: phone usage, locker storage, free clothing giveaways, chapel services, counselling, a literacy program and more.
Manager Andrew Yeo said they are fortunate to have a number of working professionals who offer drop-in service at the Mission, including street nurse Rhodina; Lana Revak, outreach worker for the Ministry of Employment and Income Assistance; and Dave Thackray, drug and alcohol counselor.
“This work is rewarding in many ways and difficult in others,” said Yeo. “The most rewarding thing is to see our guests leave the Mission behind, into a new life of hope and opportunity.
“Often times this involves them relocating to a new town/community and starting their lives with a clean slate and we are fortunate that many of them do keep in touch and give happy and positive reports.”
Through the registration process, Yeo said the Mission is able to determine that its clients — or guests, as they’re called — come from all over, including Vernon, Kelowna, Kamloops as well as those just passing through on their way to Vancouver or back east, as well as seasonal workers.
The URM is supported through a combination of fundraising and the Thrift Store (affectionately referred to as the URM Boutique Shoppe).
“We do rely heavily on the donations of the community – financial and material goods – whether it’s through the church, businesses or individuals,” said Yeo.
The URM also relies on the volunteers that make up 90 per cent of its workforce.
“We couldn’t do the work we do on a daily basis without them — each of them bringing their own talents, humour and skills,” said Yeo. “We cherish our volunteers dearly.
“We are always in need of both ongoing financial support and more volunteers are always welcome, especially in the thrift store and sorting area.”
Our New Refrigerated Truck!!!

When someone is so generous to you (or in this case to our Mission) it's tough to truly express in proper words your gratitude and thanks for all that they've given you. That's how we feel about the team at the Mortgage Centre Rochar here in Vernon. They recognized a need (in our case the need for a refrigerated truck) and they ran with it. Not even like a touchdown, home run or whatever sport analogy you could use - but they really knocked it out of the park -into the stratosphere! Thank you Kari, Sandi, Gail, Charmaine and everyone at the Mortgage Centre - we truly are indebted to you all for all that you have done for us!